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A look back on my past 3 decades - 2008, 1998 and 1988

I have a problem - I live a lot in past and worry even more about the future. People say it is not a great way to live you life but I think there is nothing wrong in it. I reminisce a lot about what happened in the past, cherish the old memories and most important I analyse what happened in the past to make informed decision about the future. To be honest it is all about being happy and my past experiences teach me a lot about how and why I did thing that I should or shouldn't have done.

Today I wanted to write about what I was doing, my state of mind and my dreams 10 years, 20 years and 30 years ago.

2008
I was quite new Alcatel-Lucent, was still trying to figure out what will I do there. It was a big change for me. Coming from Kaplan which had a small 70-80 people office in Okhla phase III to a big MNC. I really had a very nice time in Kaplan, I made lot of friends, learned even more, I had some authority and was managing a small team as well but in Alcatel-Lucent I was feeling little lost. I was not getting very well with people there. I never really made any friends over there.

However everyone in the company started appreciating my Excel skills :) Later in the coming years I started enjoying my work when I moved to the global R&D tools team but in the beginning I was not very happy. There were few good things though, traveling to office was easy, there was a cab system, I also had lot of free time and I utilized that time really well. I took my Drupal knowledge to next level and in 2008 I made www.ggsipu.info the biggest knowledge portal and community website for the students. I remember really well that the summers that year were not very hot.

Later that year I also got involved in our school alumni and when I remember now about that year I actually was very happy for most of the year. Now when I realized that not everything in life can be great but if you focus on improving other things in life, especially give yourself new challenges then overall you will certainly feel happy in life.

In 2008 I just had one clear goal in life that I want to become good in something. Earning some extra money along with my job was also my goal because I wanted to make sure that one day by extra money I will be in a situation to leave my job and focus on my own business.

1998
I really miss that year. I was in 12th standard. I was also preparing for Engineering entrance. I studied a lot that year but I really enjoyed as well, mainly because in my entire school time I never paid attention to my studies as I did that year. I used to reach home after school at 2:45PM. After having my lunch I used to leave for IITS around 3:15PM which was my coaching centre for engineering entrance preparation. The classes over there used to happen till 7PM and then I used to reach back home by 8PM.

It was very tough time for me but I really enjoyed learning new things. Till 10th standard I just wanted to leave school, in 11th and 12th I was not very sure about the future. In 11th I actually wanted to become a doctor and that's why I took biology as I really enjoyed biology but by 12th standard I realized that becoming a doctor means devoting 20+ years of life just to establish myself. Unfortunately in India you don't become good doctor until you are 40 years and I am glad I decided in 12th to focus on engineering instead.

Overall 1998 was not very enjoyable for me, it was lot of struggle, lot of studies but kind of satisfying. My dream in 12th standard was to get into the research. University professors who teach to college students and do research in other time were actually my heroes. I definitely wanted to become a scientist during that time of my life. I did get a chance to pursue that dream but lost that chance and that hurts me a lot till date but hopefully I will do that in future. If given a chance to leave everything aside and become a scientist I will never hesitate even once. I wish one day I can do my PHD.

1988
I was in 2nd standard, I had moved to DAV in 1st standard and in the 1 year I did not make lot of friends. I was still trying to make my way and establish myself. I did not enjoy a lot during 1st and 2nd standard of my school time. Of course I was tool small to feel bad about it. I was only 6 years old and I do have some good memories from that time but for a small kid moving to a new school it was kind of hostile environment. My daughter used to go to the same school building for few months before moving to UK and I also used to visit this school building in 2008 and I do miss my 2nd standard. Surprisingly I miss the days when I was not very happy as well. Strange but true.

I actually wanted to become a fighter pilot. That was my dream for a very, very long time. I don't remember exactly when I gave up that dream but still trying to figure out why and how my goals changed.

So from fighter pilot to scientist to entrepreneur I guess if I have to choose one dream I would definitely go for being a scientist. Now I am living in UK sometimes I feel that I should probably try to get into a good university for a part time course along with my work. We all get one chance to live life and should try our very best to pursue our life otherwise there is not point living.

What do you think? I would like to know your thought on this?

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