I am writing about my memories from my childhood and early life. I am doing it because I want to. You can follow this page to find links to the new blogs that I will write about my life. The events listed below are in chronological order.
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In the year 1990 when I was in 3rd standard my father took me to Chanakya cinema to watch the Batman movie (We used to watch movies a lot together. We watched several Chunky Pandey and Neelam films in later 80s). I loved that movie a lot. May be that is the reason that I like Batman a lot. I used to watch Batman and Robin old series that was aired on television too and I used to drew batman cartoons. I think Batman is still my favorite super hero. I was of course excited to watch that movie, back then watching movies on theater was a big thing, at least for me. We didn't have color television by that time, cable tv had just arrived in India. Doordarshan was the old source of entertainment for us. Watching DD was boring back then, but now we reminisce Doordarshan a lot. I announced in school a week before about this movie watching event. Little kids get excited about these things easily, I was too. Most importantly I was excited to watch an English movie in hall and wanted act cool among my friends that I have seen an English movie in English. Chankya was the only hall in Delhi that used to show international movies.
My father and I went to the cinema in south Delhi on scooter, we had LML vespa. We reached Chankya puri, which is a posh south Delhi area where all the embassies are located. This area is better maintained and general clean as compared to other colonies in Delhi. It was amazing ride from home till there. I still remember watching that movie. The batman movie back then was more fun than dark and that movie was quite funny. The batmobile used to fly in that movie and I still remember the climax scene where batman follows the joker on a tall building. That memory is still clear in my mind. After the movie all I was thinking is to go back home and tell someone about my experience. I wanted to share what all things I saw in the movie. I wanted to tell my friends that I went to this really cool and big cinema hall in south Delhi, but destiny had different things planned for me.
In the evening when I came back home it was not dark yet so I decided to go to Kapil's house who used to live just across the park. We went outside and decided to play something. We had our own games. I wanted to tell him about my experience but he wanted to play first. In that games I was just supposed to catch him and he would run first. So he started running on the streets and I ran after him. He was quite ahead of him when I noticed that he crossed the road and stood on the other side near the petrol pump in A-1 block. He just stood there and prompted me to follow him. I was just standing on the other side and asked him to come back but he did not. Actually I was not allowed to cross the road. I was scared too. So I decided to make him think that I am going back home and thought I will catch him when he come back to my side of the road. So I turned and started going back home. He saw me and attempted to cross the road. He crossed half the road and when he almost crossed the other half I decided to turn back quickly and catch him. When he saw me coming back, instead of crossing the remaining second half of the road, he started running and then suddenly out of no where one ambassador car came and hit him. The car driver already pushed the brakes but could not stop completely. He was hit and he fell on the road in front of the ambassador. He was little unconscious and started crying. The driver of the car came out, picked him and took him to the Bedi's doctor's clinic which was exactly opposite our house. I was witnessing all this and followed the driver from distance. Kapil was crying "Mummy, mummy" and was not in full senses. I was hoping that he is not hurt and frankly I was more scared of what will happen if my parent find out about this incident.
After following the car driver, I just entered my house and tried to listen to his cries. I heard him shouting only "Mummy, mummy" and I was hoping for the best. After sometime the noises stopped coming and I assumed that everything is alright. All this made me forgot about the Batman movie completely and I was sad that I had no one to share. Later that day my cousin brother Pappu bhayia came to our house and I told him about the movie. He is around 16 years elder than me and probably didn't take lot of interest in what I was saying but anyways listened to me.
I did not tell anyone in the family about Kapil's accident. My mother came to know that Kapil is not well and went to his house to check him and there Kapil told my mother that "Ravi was running with me", that was his statement. Later that day I received lot of beating from both my mother and father. Nobody believed me that I was innocent and it was not my fault. I was not running on the road!, I shouted to everyone but all in vain. Kapil and I are still friends and but I still have not forgiven him for that. I received lot of rant from family, friends, tution aunty and my teachers for that lie. Everyone scolded me that I was responsible for Kapil's accident, I was frowned upon by society, but that was long time ago and I got over it. He was intelligent, used to get good marks and everyone liked him and believed him.
We all have certain important events in our life that kind of change the course of your life journey. These two incidents Batman movie and Kapil's accident both happened on the same day and I learned something very important that day. The lesson was that there will be times when people will not believe in you but should not feel bad and always believe that you are the best in the world. I became little more stronger when I came out of this and by that time the next Batman movie was already out and it was not that great ;)
I am writing about my memories from my childhood and early life. I am doing it because I want to. You can follow this page to find links to the new blogs that I will write about my life. Click here to find previous blogs related to my life memories.
People say that no one really remember when they were too small but I think I remember I was small, or everyone else was a lot bigger than me. I was probably 2-3 years of age, I think I have a fair memories of those days. I remember very well my grandmother, I used to play with her and talk to her. I remember she used to love me a lot. We used to live in small flat. The earliest memories I have of my childhood is from the pre-nursery or kindergarten. I used to go to an apartment where someone was running a preschool, it was on the first floor above Vikas home. I remember going there with chalk and salethi (chalk board), I have faint memories in my mind of learning alphabets and numbers. There was a small park that used to come between our home to that playschool in apartment and I remember very well crossing that small park holding my mother’s finger. From very small age I was in love with parks, I still do. I think smalls kids understand that it is a place for fun and green color of plants, grass appeal to everyone. I have lot of memories and stories of that park in my life.
We used to live in A-1 block in Lawrence Road area in north delhi. It is a nice place where middle class families live and even now I am living here only though we shifted to another apartment. I love this place, just because all my memories of growing up are here. Even now I sometimes visit the old locality where I grew up, it feels nice and bring back all the beautiful days I spent there. I am so attached to that old house of mine that in all my dreams I still see that house and I still live there in my subconscious mind. All the dreams that I see even today is from that old house only. My mind just see that place in the dreams. Since I was the only child of my parents I spent all the childhood alone, I had invented ways to keep myself engaged in activities, I used to call them projects. There was something always going on in my mind, like building a dynamo or setting up a wind mill and creating a radio, these were the things that I used to do and I loved being alone. Even today I do my best when I am all alone just with myself.
I am going to start writing about everything that has ever occurred in my life so far. I know nobody really cares about it but I am writing because I just want to understand myself better. I really a confused personality and every now and then I feel that I am not really going anywhere in life. Something always bothers me inside, don't really know right now what it is but there is surely something deep inside me that keeps me pulling back and wont let me free. I want to find out why. Everything is alright in my life but just there is something bothering me all the time. It is not letting me what I want to be always i.e. HAPPY. Yes I think this is one of the most important goal for every human being and mine also. I want to by happy but at the same time I also want everyday of my life to be perfect and full of happiness without any hassles. I really long for such days when there is no tension in my life. I know tensions will stay with you but it is how you deal with them that matter. I just feel I am not able to cop up and this has been the case for so many years now. There is something I really want to do but I dont know what. There is some place that I want go but dont know where. Everyone should have a meaningful life and I also want to find the true purpose of my life.
So I am going to start writing down from the earliest memories of my life. I will be completely honest with my thoughts and feelings. This will help me to sort out tangled things in my mind. Want to write it doing on my blog so that I stay honest and open. May be someone is reading my blog and might be interested, I dont really care about anyone. I am very selffish I think. I disabled comments recently on my blog because I just dont want anyone else's opinion. It is just too much noise for me. I will write for myself.
It is 9:30 PM, winters are almost over. In fact it is kinda hot in day time in Delhi. Today is 19th January. Kapil's Birthday! There are some dates people never forget. Today is one such day. I guess we never forget the Birthdays of oldest friends. At least I don't. Kapil is my friend from school days. We were in the same class from class first to twelfth.
If I am not wrong the year was 1993 and I went to meet Kapil in the evening at his home. He was not there, his mother told me he is in the park with his cousins. We used to play together daily and at that time of the day he was generally sleeping. I felt little strange. I went downstairs and entered the park and I saw him standing at some distance with one of his cousin. His second cousin was not there. As I walked towards him I sensed happiness on his face and when I actually reached where he was standing I realized that he is certainly very happy about something.
He got a brand new Hero Ranger Bicycle as his Birthday Gift!!
In 1993 this bike with flat handle was every child's dream. I just loved the cycle that he got. It was a blue colored shining new machine. Kapil told me that he actually cried at home for getting that bike as present.
After that incident there was only one thing in my mind for so many years. I also wanted a bicycle. I remember I came back from school one day and I saw BSA MTB bike in our veranda!! I was so excited about my cycle and I just couldn't wait to ride it. I had my lunch and I slept for sometime thinking of riding it in the evening. When I woke up I realized it was just my dream. Sad. I used to get similar dreams during those days. I never got a cycle and I promised one thing to myself that when I grow up and start earning I will buy my cycle.
That day actually came when I started earning and my first salary was enough to buy at least a bicycle but I did not buy any cycle. Why? I don't know. I should have. It is not fair to break your promises. Especially those which you make to yourself. It is like dying and I have died several times.
Gladly I did buy my own cycle 1.5 years ago and at that time I should have bought a bike but I bought a cycle for myself. It was one of the best moments of my life when I bought my own cycle. I waited just too long to live the moment of being the owner of cycle. This sounds little strange, I mean whats there in a cycle? Don't ask me that question. It is not about cycle at all. It is about your living your life and doing what you want and cycling is something I love a lot.
Now I am making a list of things I always wanted to do and have not done them yet. There are things that I could have done when the right time came but still I didn't. In that list I will write all those crazy, simple and stupid things I always wished for.
This is little part of my life story. All I want to say is do what you want to do. Live your dreams.
It is late. Wife is asking me to stop writing. Good Night people!